Quick Guide to Oscars 2013

Didn't watch the Oscars this year?  We have a concise account of the couture, the music, and winners in hashtag form. 

Fashionistas: Helen Hunt, Zoe Saldana, Amanda Seyfried, Anne Hathaway, Kerry Washington. #Loveliness

Goddesses of the Red Carpet: Charlize Theron, Naomi Watts, Catherine Zeta Jones. #AbsolutelyFabulous

Black Tie Hotness: Hugh Jackman, Chris Pine, George Clooney, Eddie Redmayne. #YumYum 

Best accessory: Quenzhane Wallis' dog purse complete with dress and matching tiara #BeOriginal  #Coolest9YearOld

Most Stunning Couple: Jennifer Garner & Ben Affleck. #NoSurprise

Fashion implosion:  Halle Barry, who looked like an evil queen in Buck Rogers. #WhatAWaste   #SquareShouldersShouldNeverComeBack

Most Improved Fashion Award: Nicole Kidman. With a body like that, only took you over 15 years to hit it out of the park.  #FinallyItHappenedToMe

Bradley Cooper, please take a cue from George and Ben and use clippers. #NeatBeardsPlease  

Kept Waiting for a load of tribbles to fall on host Seth McFarlane during opening monologue... because that actually would've been funny #ThankGodForCaptainKirk

We quickly discovered the vast difference between being a successful and brilliant animated show writer and doing a stand-up routine. #WhereAreTina&Amy?

Unlikely, but beautiful combo: Charlize Theron and Channing Tatum.  Waiting for the dance movie.  #HighlightOfTheNight

Did you know Charlize is ballet trained and has danced in Swan Lake  #Beautiful&Talented

The moment I was relieved this year's Oscars wasn't gonna be a Silver Linings travesty: Christoph Waltz winning Best Supporting Actor (again) for Django Unchained.  #TotallyDeserved   #ILoveGratefulActors   #SeemsLikeAGreatGuy

Anne Hathaway was devastating in Les Misérables & glad she got the Oscar. Loved the daring dress.  #HolyCutoutsBatman

Urgh, did she really need to thank 40 people? And lecture about poverty?  #BoringSpeeches  #NeverLikedYouMuchAnyway

Damn, Shirley Bassey belting Goldfinger!  #StillGotIt  #TakeNotesJenniferHudson

Sound Editing should always go to the films with the most action: Zero Dark Thirty and Skyfall #YesATie

Goosebumpy Moment: the leads of Les Miz singing "One Day More"... Fantastic! Even with the miscast and stiffer-than-a-redwood Russell Crowe. And with a professional chorus, I'm sure they told Amanda Sigfried just to mouth it. #HighlightOfTheNight #KillerOscarMoment

Does Jennifer Aniston have Vulcan ears? Then why does she always have the same hairstyle?  #DoSomethingDifferent 

Hottest Should-Be-A-Couple: Chris Pine & Zoe Saldana. Also hosts of the Tech Oscars 

#TooBadWeCouldntSwitchHosts  #PleaseHaveBabiesForGreaterGood

Why Life of Pi won for Best Visual Effects: 10 million CGI tiger hairs #TotallyDeserved

Cutting off acceptance speeches for lifeless Ted twaddle?  #Why?

Whoo-hoo! Best Adapted Screenplay for Argo! I would've given it to Beasts, but still happy...   #SuckItSilverLinings

Quentin Tarantino won Best Original Screenplay for Django Unchained... it was original alright. #TooYoungToRetire

Was Barbara Streisand worth waiting 2 decades for? #JuryStillOut  

Hey Barbara and Jennifer Hudson... #MoreHeartLessCheese 


Ok, Ok. Seth wasn't all bad.  I liked the soft-shoe. I snickered at "We Saw Your Boobs"; it was so Peter Griffin #IWouldSeeYourDinnerShow #StillBetterThanFranco

So adorable I want to shrink him and put him in my pocket: Ang Lee winning for Best Director for "Life of Pi" #WonderfulSurprise #SeemsLikeAGreatGuy

Thank you for wearing color and not just red, white, or gold: Jennifer Garner in purple, Reese Witherspoon in blue, Sam Jackson in pimpin' burgundy velvet #BeOriginal  

Yes, Adele won Best Song for "Skyfall". Because... it sounded like every other Bond song in the past 50 years. Yeah, that's it.  #Expected

Looking at Jane Fonda woke everyone up. #HolyYellowDressBatman #WeNeededThat

When you're hosting the Oscars and a billion people have already groaned at you a few times, best to reel it back into the Safe Zone and only make jokes about how long the show is... #WorksEveryTime

Biggest "Nooo!" moment: Jennifer Lawrence's win. She is a fine actress, but shall join the ranks of Gwenyth Paltrow and Sandra Bullock who also won for the wrong movie. #SorryNaomiWatts

Jennifer, your skirt was ridiculous, that's why you fell. Bigger isn't always better.  #LookedLikeAWeddingCakeTopper  #TooYoungForHugeGowns  #NoDrinkingBeforeAccepting

Despite the phenomenal job as Jean Valjean, at least it went to one of the finest actors in the business: Daniel Day Lewis' unprecedented Third Best Actor statue for Lincoln.  #SorryHughJackman

Didn't know Daniel is funnier onstage than Seth McFarlane? You should have seen his BAFTAs awards speech. When is he gonna do a comedy? #SomebodyWriteItNow

Put Jennifer Garner in it, she's looked marvelous this awards season  #NoMoreSidelines 
Better yet, but them both in the Charlize & Channing dance flick #WhyNot

Michelle Obama opening the envelope for Best Picture??  Well... Ok.  #WonderfulSurprise #OnlySheCouldPullThatOff

Even the First Lady got the memo #YearOfTheMetallicDress

I watched most of the Awards shows this year. Never before has an actor won me over from the sincerity of his acceptance speeches alone.  Ben Affleck, you've obviously learned a ton in the past 15 years.  Argo is an achievement.  I'm proud of ya. #SeemsLikeAGreatGuyNow #SuckItSilverLinings

Sorry "Beasts of the Southern Wild"  didn't win anything.  It's incredible. #GoSeeIt

Best part of host Seth McFarlane? The closing song "Here's to the Losers" with Kristen Chenoweth. #YepTheyKnewBradleyWouldLose

Otherwise, Seth's writing is far better in his shows.  #MediocreIndeed  #FallFromFamilyGuy  #HughJackmanHasMoreCharmInHisToe

Starting the campaign.  Who is with me? #Tina&Amy2014

- Melissa